Growing up I was always kind of tiny. My sister, who is an almost six feet tall amazon woman, still introduces us to people as "Taylor tall, Sammie small." I was always referred to as the skinny girl. In the fourth grade I was bullied for my size. In junior high I was pulled into the office by the nurse because girls in my dance class had started a rumor saying I had eating disorders. Now as an adult I have strangers and coworkers make rude comments about my size. Most recently a woman grabbed my arm and said "so skinny!! don't you eat?!" Why is it okay in our world to make that comment but completely rude to make similar comments towards an overweight person? Skinny shaming is equally hurtful. But that's a whole different post for another day. My point is that everyone is different. I don't necessarily struggle with my weight, but that doesn't mean i'm healthy or in shape. I do not own a scale. And I have absolutely no idea how much I weigh right now. At my last doctors visit I was at 100 pounds and I have to admit I couldn't care less about the number on the scale. My weight in the last 10 years has fluctuated between 95-110 pounds. At five feet six inches tall that puts me just under the accepted body mass index and generally excepted as underweight. I'll also add that I have never ever even considered doing any kind of weight loss diet. I love food. I eat whatever I want. Eating is not my problem. I do however have a few minor health issues that make weight gain very difficult. The first of which being a lightning fast metabolism. I have to eat something every couple of hours. If I don't my blood sugar plummets and I faint. Talk about embarrassing, once when my husband and I were dating I passed out in line at subway and woke up with him and my entire volleyball team surrounding me. He now carries snacks around like he's a soccer-mom. Granola bars and apple sauce packets live in my purse/car/gym bag. I'm also slightly anemic which is just low iron and easily fixed by taking an iron supplement. These issues mostly affect my energy levels and often leave me feeling pretty lethargic. Exhausted grumpy me is not very good at taking care of myself. Instead of choosing healthy foods that will make my body feel good I opt for the easy and usually unhealthy choices. And instead of doing a workout I end up passed out on the couch.
These super unhealthy habits are a relatively new thing for me. When I was a kid I was in a very active family. We spent our weekends riding dirt bikes and playing family ultimate frisbee games. In high school I was a three sport athlete and in college I worked at a gym. After getting married and moving to CA I was thrown into a very active atmosphere. Fletcher was the most hyperactive puppy on the planet and I loved waking up to him adorable little pup face begging me for a morning run or hike. If you ever need some serious motivation to get some exercise adopt a cattle dog puppy. Not even slightly exaggerating I almost never missed a run back then purely because I couldn't bare to let him down.
Since moving to Flagstaff I've struggled in quite a few different ways. My life was complete chaos for a little bit and my fitness goals all but disappeared. Part of that was going from year round summer weather to freezing cold wind and snow. Another huge obstacle was the elevation change; sea level to 7000 feet is no joke. Fletcher and I had a pretty big shock on our first run up here. We made it maybe half a mile before we absolutely could not go on. I thought my lungs were going to implode. And my dear Fletchy laid down in the middle of the path and refused to go on. It was a lot to get used to.
I'm ashamed to admit that right now i'm in the worst shape of my entire life. No I haven't gained any weight. If anything i've lost weight because most of my muscle mass has disappeared. But there is more to being healthy than being a size zero. I've been feeling pretty unhealthy and just plain weak lately. And i'm over it. I'm so tired of not feeling my best and I'm absolutely ready to get my life back. So i've challenged myself to make some serious changes. I am absolutely not trying to lose any weight. My goal is to be strong and to feel healthy. From now on I will make taking care of myself a priority. That means I will get enough sleep, drink enough water, fuel my body with yummy healthy food, And live an active lifestyle that I actually enjoy. I'm also going to hold myself accountable by posting about my journey every single week. Hopefully these posts will help me stay on track and maybe i'll be able to connect with other people who are on fitness journeys of their own. I'm excited to look back at this post in the future and I hope that it will act as a reminder to me never to let myself go ever again.
Do you have any tips to stay active/healthy with a busy schedule? If so I'm all ears!
xo Sam
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